Ayumi was studying for the IELTS examination hoping to live and work abroad. In this exam, she had to write two essays in one hour, and so practised her writing regularly. Most of the essays below, were written in about 40 minutes or so. I am going to add many of her interesting essays in time. Below, you will find two versions of each essay: the first is her original version; the second is an edited version.
1) The
Future Health of the Japanese
People
2) The
Difference Between the Rich and the
Poor
3) The
Internet 1
4)
Mental Health in Japan
5)
Freedom and Responsibility
6) Should
guns be banned?
7) The
Death Penalty
8) The
Internet 2
9)
Religious Beliefs
It is said that Japan is the most healthy country, because our average of age is the longest in the world. There are some reasons which we live longer than others. Firstly, Japanese eat healthy food, tofu, fish, rice and vegetables. Secondly, we have high level medical service, and basically all people who live in Japan can take the medical care everywhere. Moreover, in Japan the number of new baby's death is quite small, therefore our our average of age has rose.
However, our traditional Japanese lives has changed rapidly to the western style. We eat a lot of fat, meat and butter now, and the Japanese health has changed. Actually, our health have been getting worse, for example, cancer, heart disease, diabetes patients have increased, strangely our age extends every year. Because, our medical care are developing so even though the number of patients increases, the rate (of curing) rises as well.
Recently, A Japanese researcher developed "the useful cell" which has possibility to cure the difficult disease. In the future there is no difficult disease, we give up to treat, and our average of age will more extend. However, it might not be good to live longer. Sometimes patients are forced to live with medical machines without their will. We should not think about only length of life, and we have to consider about "quality of life".
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
It is said that Japan is the most healthy country, because our average life expectancy is the longest in the world. There are some reasons why we live longer than others. Firstly, Japanese eat healthy food: tofu, fish, rice and vegetables. Secondly, we have a high-level medical service, and basically all people who live in Japan can receive the medical care everywhere. Moreover, in Japan the infant mortality rate is quite low, therefore our our average life expectancy has risen.
However, our traditional Japanese lives have changed rapidly to the western style. We eat a lot of fat, meat and butter now, and the Japanese health has changed. Actually, our health has been getting worse, for example, the number of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes patients has increased. Although strangely, our age extends every year because our medical care is developing. So even though the number of patients increases, the cure rate rises as well.
Recently, A Japanese researcher developed "The useful cell" which has possibility to cure difficult diseases. In the future there will be no difficult diseases, and we can give up treatment, and our average life expectancy will extend even more. However, it might not be good to live longer. Sometimes patients are forced to live with the aid of life-support machines against their will. We should not think about only the length of life, we have to consider about the "quality of life".
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Recently, new problem appeared in Japan. It is difference of society. Basically the difference happen in developing countries, for example China, India, and South Africa, and they separate extremely rich or poor. In China people who live in big cities, Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong earn a lot of money with new business, shares, investments and real estate business. They can make money by themselves because they had good education when they were student. However, the people who live in country can't afford children to go school, because they are surviving to live everyday, and children have to work as a member of workers. In addition, some parts of China don't have good education systems which the government supports enough.
For developing countries it is a great thing that their countries grow up economically, and the governments want their capital city or big cities to develop more and more. However, rich people tend to forget about poor people in the same countries. On the other hands, Japan has a similar problem. Young people tend to gather in big exciting cities like Tokyo, Osaka. Their home towns loses the power of young worker, and many industries can't continue, then young people lose chances to work in their town, so they go to big cities. Therefore it is a kind of bad cycle.
However, we have change this bad flow to make all people wealthy, and governments should support their own countries equally. It is not only government, rich companies should build factories to give opportunities for local people. We must not forget our lives are supported by countryside's farming
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Recently, a new problem appeared in Japan. It is a difference in society. Basically the difference happens in developing countries, for example, China, India, and South Africa, and it separates extremely rich or poor. In China people who live in big cities such as Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong earn a lot of money with new business, shares, investments and real estate. They can make money by themselves because they had a good education when they were students. However, the people who live in the country can't afford for their children to go to school, because they are trying to survive every day, and children have to work as members of the workforce. In addition, some parts of China do not have good education systems because of a lack of government support.
For developing countries it is a great thing that their countries grow economically, and the governments want their capital city or big cities to develop more and more. However, rich people tend to forget about poor people in the same countries. On the other hand, Japan has a similar problem. Young people tend to gather in big exciting cities like Tokyo and Osaka. Their home towns lose the power of young workers, and many industries can't continue. Then young people lose the chance to work in their town, so they go to big cities. Therefore it is a kind of vicious circle.
However, we have to change this bad flow to make all people wealthy, and governments should support their own countries equally. It is not only governments, as rich companies should build factories to give opportunities for local people. We must not forget our lives are supported by the countryside's farming
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Recently, the internet spread worldwide rapidly, because the internet benefit us a lot. People chose the internet as the greatest invention in this century. This system have huge amount of new information, and those information are renewed every day, every hour, every minute, then people can get the suitable information for researchers.
In addition, we can make the world close by the internet. There are so many community links in the internet, and we can make friends who live in different places without knowing who we are exactly. Sometimes people become more brave or honest than the real world. Moreover, many schools try to import the internet for children, because they think that the internet must be essential tool in the future. In brief, we can say the internet is part of our life now.
However, we have to look that there are many disadvantages in this internet society. There are enormous quantities of information, therefore people would get wrong news. Sometimes the internet helps crimes, for example, there are some information to make bombs or to commit suicide, to cheat for money. The police have tried to arrest those offenders, but unfortunately, it is difficult to find who did it. Besides, some students are bullied at school by other students with internet websites.
The internet have many advantages and disadvantages, it is like a "double-edged sword". However, now we can't stop using the internet, so we should have to find good solutions. If the government does not takes action, the victims of the internet increase in the future.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Recently, the internet spread worldwide rapidly because it benefits us a lot. People chose the internet as the greatest invention of the century. This system has a huge amount of new information, and that information is renewed every day, every hour, every minute, so people can get suitable information for research.
In addition, we can make the world close through the internet. There are so many community links on the internet, and we can make friends who live in different places without knowing who they are exactly. Sometimes people become more brave or honest than in the real world. Moreover, many schools try to introduce the internet for children, because they think that it must be an essential tool in the future. In brief, we can say the internet is part of our lives now.
However, we have to recognize that there are many disadvantages in this internet society. There are enormous quantities of information, therefore people could get incorrect news. Sometimes the internet helps crime. For example, there is some information on how to make bombs, to commit suicide, or to cheat for money. The police have tried to arrest those offenders, but unfortunately, it is difficult to find who did it. Besides this, some students are bullied at school by other students through internet websites.
The internet has many advantages and disadvantages, it is like a "double-edged sword". However, now we cannot stop using it, so we have to find good solutions. If the government does not takes action, the number of victims of the internet will increase in the future.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Last week one study shocked Japanese people. It is that 33000 people committed suicides in 2007, and half of them may have had health problems, depression or other mental illnesses. Surprisingly, it was said that recently one eighth of people have or may have depression in Japan, and it has increased. It means that Japanese mental health conditions have been getting worse, even though our life became rich and convenient.
Two weeks ago, Akihabara incident sent a shudder through all Japan, and he also has a dark side in his mind. However, we have to think why the number of suicides and murders which is kind of street murders at random. Firstly, it is obvious that peoples mental problem connected the increasing number. Secondly, high technology culture might have a bad influence on people, especially, computer games and the internet. Most people are using them, and we believed they just make us happy and convenient, and they help us to connect people and people.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Last week, one study shocked Japanese people. It was that over 33000 people committed suicide in 2007, and half of them may have had health problems, depression or other mental illnesses. Surprisingly, it was said that recently one eighth of all people have, or may have, depression in Japan, and this has increased. It means that the Japanese mental health condition has been getting worse, even though our lives have become rich and convenient.
Two weeks ago, the Akihabara incident sent a shudder through all Japan. The murderer also has a dark side to his mind. However, we have to think of the causes of the number of suicides and random street murders. Firstly, it is obvious that people's mental problems are connected with the increasing number. Secondly, the high technology culture might have a bad influence on people, especially computer games and the internet. Most people are using them, and we believed they just made us happy and were convenient, helping us to connect people to people.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Recently, I think many people have lost interests of government, especially among young generation. Some of young people have never joined elections. Because the government can't do many things people hope. In addition, some politicians stole money from our tax. Therefore people stop expecting the government. In addition, it is creating new Japanese character which is irresponsibility.
Basically, we used to have strong responsibility for jobs, society and people, and we were proud of it. Sometimes the responsibility had strong power in Japan a long time ago, for example, each town or village citizen had responsibility together. When someone broke the rule, the public office punished all people who related with that person. Therefore each single person acted carefully and thought about their family and friends.
However, we totally forgot it now. Unfortunately there are some people who understand about freedom and irresponsibility. There are some people who move without thinking about trouble for others. They believe that it is right of freedom. On the other hand, some people cannot endure a kind of pressure and responsibility, then a part of them try to escape to suicide. Even the politician or minister ran away from fulfilling their duty, and like this, Japanese people nearly lose a sense of responsibility which we prided.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Recently, I think many people have lost interest in government, especially among the young generation. Some young people have never voted in elections. Because the government cannot do many things that people hope for. In addition, some politicians stole money from our taxes. Therefore people stop expecting much of the government. In addition, it is creating a new Japanese character, which is irresponsibility.
Basically, we used to have serious responsibility for jobs, society and other people, and we were proud of it. Sometimes the responsibility had great power in Japan. A long time ago, for example, each town or village citizen had shared responsibility. When someone broke a rule, the public office punished all people who were related to that person. Therefore each single person acted carefully and thought about their family and friends.
However, we have totally forgotten about it now. Unfortunately there are some people who only understand about freedom and irresponsibility. There are some people who move without thinking about causing trouble for others. They believe that it is a right of freedom. On the other hand, some people cannot endure these kinds of pressure and responsibility, then some of them try to escape by suicide. Even politicians and ministers ran away from fulfilling their duty, and like this, Japanese people have nearly lost the sense of responsibility which we previously prided.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
In Japan our lives are in danger now by guns. Usually we are not allowed having any guns as weapons, but some people who have a special licence can have some guns officially. However, unfortunately last weekend a horrible accident happened in Nagasaki by legal guns. A man shot down a girl who was liked by him, and his best friend. In addition many children were involved in the trouble.
Normally the police investigates people to permit them to have guns for shooting, if they have enough responsibility and the skill. It is said that Japanese gun control law is stricter than any countries else in the world. However, the man in Nagasaki had not held several guns and a lot of bullets without right reasons for 10 years, even though he didn't work and his neighbours suggested to the police that he would be dangerous.
This incident is scaring us, and the problem is not only for Nagasaki people, also people all around the world. Because we don't know who has guns and for what, so there might be a possibility that one of our neighbours has a gun. So, the government must take an action to prevent happening like this terrible accident ever. They should check the gun control law again immediately to be safer and stricter to save our lives.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
In Japan our lives are in danger now from guns. Usually, we are not allowed to have any guns as weapons, but some people who have a special licence can have some guns officially. However, unfortunately last weekend a horrible incident happened in Nagasaki with legal guns. A man shot down a girl who he liked, and his best friend. In addition many children were involved in the trouble.
Normally, the police investigates people to permit them to have guns for shooting, if they have enough responsibility and the skill. It is said that Japanese gun control law is stricter than any other country in the world. However, the man in Nagasaki had held several guns and a lot of bullets without good reason for ten years, even though he did not work and his neighbours suggested to the police that he could be dangerous.
This incident scares us, and the problem is not only for Nagasaki people, but also for people all around the world. Because we don't know who has guns, and what for, there might be a possibility that one of our neighbours has a gun. So, the government must take an action to prevent terrible incidents like this ever happening again. They should tighten the gun control law again immediately to be safer and stricter, to save lives.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Japan still have the death penalty for extremely vicious criminal cases. However, I doubt if the death penalty is really necessary today. Because even offenders are human and they also have human rights. I don't have any confidence to say we can decide some offenders deserve the death penalty. I think nobody has power to kill people in all over the world.
However, victim and their family have different opinions. A man who was killed his wife and his first baby by a boy has demanded the death penalty to the justice, and to my surprise some people who appeared on TV agreed with him on TV news program. Of course, I can't forgive vicious offenders, but I think they should live to understand how, what, and why they committed serious crimes, and they have to feel guilty forever in prison.
In the short future, Japanese justice is going to start 'trial by the country'. It means we will have a power and responsibility to decide people's death or alive. It will be dangerous, because jurymen also will feel guilty if they decide the death penalty. Therefore, the government should consider to continue the death penalty and they have to try find another way to save the number of crimes in Japan.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
Japan still has the death penalty in extremely vicious criminal cases. However, I doubt if the death penalty is really necessary today. Because even offenders are human and so they also have human rights. I do not have any confidence to say we can decide that some offenders deserve the death penalty. I think nobody has the power to kill people anywhere in the world.
However, victims and their families have different opinions. A man whose wife and first baby were killed by a boy has demanded the death penalty to a judge, and to my surprise some people who appeared on television agreed with him on news programs. Of course, I cannot forgive vicious offenders, but I think they should live to understand how, what, and why they committed serious crimes, and they have to feel guilty forever in prison.
In the near future, the Japanese justice system is going to start 'trial by the country'. It means we will have a power and responsibility to decide whether people live or die. It will be dangerous, because jurymen also will feel guilty if they decide on the death penalty. Therefore, the government should consider whether to continue the death penalty, and they have to try to find other ways to reduce the number of crimes in Japan.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
I think the internet is the greatest invention in this century, because we can get a huge amount of information by one click at home or office. In addition, the internet connects all over the world easily, so we can know what happened in other countries, what they are thinking. A wonderful idea is the internet shopping for me, because I dreamed that I want to buy something with watching TV and touch something I want to get, when I was a child. Now, it's real!! I was impressed with this global network.
However, I realized that there is a lot of harm behind the internet. Firstly, we can use the internet without no name and any ID, so it would be possible to commit crimes secretly. Recently, several incidents which asked a man to kill somebody happened in Japan by using the internet, though they don't know each other. Moreover, there are many 'suicide site' on which people who want to commit suicide meet. That is to say, the internet makes a new type of crime. Secondly, I'm worried that the internet have a bad influence on children . Because on the internet there is excessive information for children, for example about sexual things, drugs, guns, murders, violence, etc. In addition, I can't say all information on the internet is correct, so children might get wrong news and knowledges from it.
The internet give us rich and convenient lives now, therefore we should use it correctly. Maybe we need a new rule against the harm of internet to protect us.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
I think the internet is the greatest invention of this century, because we can get a huge amount of information by one click, at our home or office. In addition, the internet connects all over the world easily, so we can know what has happened in other countries and what they are thinking. A wonderful idea for me is internet shopping, because when I was a child, I dreamed that if I wanted to buy something on television I could touch it and get it. Now, it's real!! I am impressed with this global network.
However, I realized that there is a lot of harm behind the internet. Firstly, we can use the internet without using our real name or any ID, so it would be possible to commit crimes secretly. Recently, several incidents in which men were asked to kill somebody happened in Japan by using the internet, even though they did not know each other. Moreover, there are many 'suicide site' on which people who want to commit suicide meet. That is to say, the internet makes new types of crime. Secondly, I am worried that the internet has a bad influence on children, because on the internet there is excessive information for children, for example about sexual things, drugs, guns, murders, violence, and so on. In addition, I cannot say all information on the internet is correct, so children might get wrong news or knowledge from it.
The internet gives us rich and convenient lives now, therefore we should use it correctly. Maybe we need new rules against the harm of the internet to protect us.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
I used to believe that God exists in this world when I was a child, and I thought God made this world, humans, animals and everything. However, I lost that belief gradually and naturally, and I don't believe any Gods and religions. On the other hand, I think religions are necessary for mankind, and practically there are a number of kinds of religions gods in the world.
When people are in trouble or have big problems, they ask god to help them with praying, even though their wishes never come true. Why do we need it? Because we sometimes have serious troubles such as impossible to solve, and then all we can do is pray for someone. In addition, occasionally miracles happen before our eyes, and we can't believe them, then people think that it is god's work. Therefore, people believe god naturally and have religious beliefs.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008
When I was a child, I used to believe that God exists in this world, and I thought God made this world, humans, animals and everything. However, I lost that belief gradually and naturally, and I do not believe in any gods or religions anymore. On the other hand, I think religions are necessary for mankind, and practically speaking, there are a number of different kinds of religions gods in the world.
When people are in trouble or have big problems, they ask God to help them by praying, even though their wishes might never come true. Why do we need this? Because we sometimes have serious troubles that are impossible to solve, and then all we can do is pray for someone. In addition, occasionally miracles happen before our eyes, and we cannot believe them, then we think that it is god's work. Therefore, people believe in God naturally, and have religious beliefs.
Copyright: Ayumi Mizoguchi, 2008